Quotes

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Xander: "Well we could grind our enemies into talcam powder with a sledgehammer but gosh, we did that last night!"

Buffy: "I wish people wouldn't leave open graves lying around like this." -Some Assembly Required

Buffy: "Now we can do this the hard way or... well actually, there's just the hard way." -Welcome to the Hellmouth

Buffy: "I've had it. Spike's going down. You can attack me, you can send assassins after me. But nobody messes with my boyfriend!"

Buffy: "Destructo-Girl, that's me!" -Teachers Pet

Joyce: "Are you going out tonight honey?"

Buffy: "Yeah Mom, I'm going to a club."

Joyce: "Will there be boys there?"

Buffy: "No Mom, it's a nun club." -Welcome to the Hellmouth"

Angel: "I want to learn from you"

Angel: "But I don't want to dress like you." -Becoming Part 1

Spike: "No more of this 'I've got a soul" crap?"

Angel: "What can I say? I was going through a phase." -Innocence

Xander: "You were checking out my neck! I saw that."

Angel: "No I wasn't."

Xander: "Just keep your distance pal."

Angel: "I wasn't looking at your neck."

Xander: "I told you to eat before we left." -Prophecy Girl

Xander: "Can I just say one thing? HEEELLLLPPPP!!!"

Ampata: "You are strange,"

Xander: "Girls always tell me that. Right before they run away."

Buffy: "Xander, how do you feel about rifling through Giles's personal files, see if you can find some light?"

Xander: "I feel pretty good about it. Does that make me a sociopath?" -The Dark Age

Xander: "Ready to get down, you funky party weasel?" -to Giles, in Surprise

Xander: "Principal Snyder! Great career fair, sir! Really. In fact, I'm so inspired by your leadership... I'm thinking principal school. I want to walk in your shoes. Not your actual shoes of course. Because you're a tiny person. Not tiny in the small sense of course... Ok? Done now..." -What's My Line? Part 1

Xander: "I laugh in the face of danger. Then I hide until it goes away."

Willow: "About spiders. Did you talk to Giles about..."

Xander: "Oh. The spiders. Willow's been kinda... what's the word I'm looking for? Insane about what happened yesterday."

Willow: "I don't like spiders Ok? Their furry bodies, their sticky webs, what do they need all those legs for anyway? I'll tell you. For crawling across your face in the middle of the night. Ew!!!" -Nightmares

Angel: "I guess I could use some help. And you're the first person I thought of."

Willow: "Help? You mean like on homework? No, cause you're already old and you already know stuff."

Angel: "I want you to track someone down. On the Net.

Willow: "Oh great! I am so the Net girl!" -Lie To Me

Xander: "You gotta take care of that egg! It's a baby, gotta keep it safe and teach it Christian values."

Willow: "My egg is Jewish." -Bad Eggs

Giles: "I'm sorry... your hair..."

Cordelia: "There's something wrong with my hair! Omigod!" (leaves the room)

Giles: "Xander was right. It worked like a charm." -The Puppet Show

Buffy: "It's not noise. It's music."

Giles: "I know music. Music has notes. This is noise."

Buffy: "I'm aerobicizing. I must have a beat."

Giles: "Wonderful. You work on your muscle tone while my brains dribble out my ears. -The Dark Age

Buffy (to Giles): "One of these days, you have to get a grown-up car." -Inca Mummy Girl

Ethan: "How did Ripper inspire such good-ness?"

Buffy: "because he's Giles." -The Dark Age

Xander: "See, this is a school, and we have students and they check out books and they learn things."

Giles: "I was beginning to suspect that was just a myth." -Never Kill a Boy on the First Date

Giles: "Ms Calendar, I'm sure that your computer-science class is fascinating but I happen to believe that one can function in modern society without being a slave to the idiot box.

Jenny: "That's TV. The idiot box is the TV. This is a good box."

Giles: "Well I still prefer a good book." -I Robot, You Jane

Cordelia: "Gym is cancelled due to the extreme dead guy in the locker." -Welcome to the Hellmouth

Giles: Do you know, I don't ever recall seeing you here (in the library) before."

Cordelia; "Oh, no. I have a life." -Out of Mind, Out of Sight

Cordelia: "I am of course having my dress specially made. Off-the-rack gives me hives." -Out of Mind, Out of Sight

Cordelia: "Darn, I have cheerleader practise tonight. Boy, if I had known you were gonna be digging up dead people sooner, I would have cancelled!" -Some Assembly Required

Xander: "Boy that Cordelia is a regular breath of vile air." -Angel

Oz: "I'm shot. Wow it's… odd. And painful." -What's My Line Part 2

Xander: "Vampires are real. Lots of them live in Sunnydale. Willow will fill you in"

Willow: "I know it's hard to accept at first…"

Oz: "No actually, it explains a lot." -Surprise

Spike: "a Slayer with family and friends. That sure as hell wasn't in the brochure."

Drusilla: "You kill her. And we'll have a nice party." -School Hard

Drusilla: "My mummy used to sing me to sleep at night. ` Run and catch, the lamb is caught in the blackberry patch.' What will your mummy sing when they find your body?" -Lie To Me

Spike: "Are we; feeling better then?"

Drusilla: "I'm naming all the stars."

Spike: "Can't see the stars, love. That's the ceiling. Also, its day."

Drusilla: "I can see them. But I've named them all the same name, and there's terrible confusion. I fear there may be a duel." -Innocence

Drusilla: "I met an old man once. I didn't like him. He got suck in my teeth." -Becoming Part 1

Willow: "It's my way of saying, `Get well soon.' "

Buffy: "You know, chocolate says that even better."

Willow: "I did all of your assignments. All you have to do is sign your name."

Buffy (very surprised): "Chocolate means nothing to me." -Killed by Death